Monday, November 26, 2012

Funny Facts of Life


There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
Don’t worry about the world ending today…
It’s already tomorrow in New Zealand.
(unless you’re in New Zealand -then start worrying)

There’s too much fraternising with the enemy.
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
Character is what you are.
Reputation is what people think you are.

Drive carefully
It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work..
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn’t understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions.
Money can’t buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.
It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book. COROLLARY: If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.

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